Passing Through

Alex Caraulia
(Authors Note: This is a creative piece reflecting on the book, Touching Spirit Bear, by Ben Milaelsen. The purpose is to see through the eyes of one of the fictional ancestor’s, Penellyia Garson.)
I stood on my balcony looking out onto the sunset, waiting for dusk to turn into night. It seemed to me like it was setting all too fast. I have never wanted this war to come, only a select few would be joyful to the point of killing someone they think worth killing; I on the other hand, wish for no one to die. This war is completely meaningless; all I wanted was for us all to be happy, I am only 13 years old…if this war wasn’t to come, I wouldn’t know what would happen. Only because; it is coming and we won’t know our lives any other way nor will we ever.

Slowly, tears formed in my eyes and I could see them build up as I tried to fight them. But for this lifetime, I have had more than enough fighting. We were about to go into war for goodness sakes. So giving up, I let the tears fall from my eyes, feeling them trickle and tickle down my cheeks, mouth, and fall off of my chin.

As the sun set, I became more and more anxious to the point of not knowing when I will die. I needed help. I needed guidance into my life, but I had none. With Mom and Dad dead, and no one else to go to; I have no other choice. This war is the only way I can be helped.

Why is it the only way though? Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I be the one singing to her hearts contempt? I haven’t sung my song in so long; it seems to have become a lost cause. So has my meaningless disembodied life. That is right, I am a phantom; or should I say, The Phantom. Being a lost soul that doesn’t want to die gets tiresome and threatens the fragile balance of nature.

Why is it that I now see how selfish I am? I have stolen multiple carcasses of both the deceased and the living, just thirsting for the need to live forever; though, I much prefer the living bodies. I forget who I am now; I believe the name of this girl is Lily Morgeb. She was…just about to…die anyways. She was to die from lung cancer at age 14; I imagine that she has been having some fun time with cigarettes. Or could it possibly be that she was a victim of second-hand smoking. In any case, she was to die.

Now on to the war. This isn’t a typical one, nothing like the well known Civil and Cold War. This is a war to determine strength and who is stronger in the two worlds; is Life? Or is Death? I have chosen a side, the one that was always kinder to me, and the one who gave me a million second chances; Death. He has always accessed me as his favorite; that is why I can possess the bodies of both the dead and the living. He gave me a privilege that no one else has; in which, I am grateful. Even so…I don’t want to be like this any longer.



-_-


I lay on the ground, my heart pounded and I smarted everywhere. I slowly raised my hand and touched my head. It was warm and sticky, and not being able to open my eyes at that moment, I put my fingers to my mouth. I tasted blood and it tasted……good. No. I can’t be that way; Lord Death wouldn’t like it.

I lifted my torso to see where I was. Propping on my elbows, I tilted my head to the side to crack it, then to the other side to do the same. When I centered my head, I opened my eyes. I was in a grassy field that was covered with red blood and scattered bodies. I looked up at the sky, it was clear, but seemed to have a red gloom to it. I pondered the thought; a blood red sky. Could it be the effects of so much bloodshed?

In any case, this body is dead, and I need a new one. I lied back down to get out of this lifeless form. I relaxed and cleared my head of all thought. I could feel myself get slowly pulled out of the body and get lifted towards the sky. I opened my eyes and lifted myself upwards. I need a new body. Being a ghost is fun don’t get me wrong. But I like to actually feel. I haven’t been to Alaska in a while; I know there is a little island to the south, and a little devil told me that my great great great grandson, Edwin, will be there.


-_-


I saw Edwin on the sandy shore of the island. He was with two other men. One seemed to be about 15 years old, the other in his twenties. As I approached them, I felt a pull in the other direction; towards the forest. I tried to resist but it was no use. I was pulled into the dark forest. I just let myself go after a bit of hassle. I relaxed and then I was stopped by whatever force made me go.
I noticed that I was right near a rock that was at the bottom of the hill. It seems like it was rolled down from the very top. I tried, but I couldn’t go very far from the rock. So no body for a while I guess. A couple hours past when I heard some tired footsteps come my way. I was expecting a herd of mice or something. Instead, I saw Edwin and the 15 year old come here. Edwin picked the rock up and I tried to speak to him in the calmest way possible.

“Edwin! Put me down! Listen to me! I hate it when people pick me up!”

He said something along the lines of him being able to hear his ancestors through the rock.

“Of course you can hear me! I am right here screaming in your ear!” He then gave the rock to the 15 year old. And he almost dropped me.

“You dummy! Be careful!” he didn’t hear me. Of course.

After a couple minutes we were at the top of the hill. The 15 year old—who I now know is Cole—was panting. Then they talked some more but I didn’t bother to listen. It didn’t involve me so why even try to waste my energy on it? Cole set the rock down on the ground and pushed it. I rolled down the hill making me feel ill. They then left me there without even looking at the rock twice.

I want a new body and I want one now. This will be harder than I thought, but I need a new one. I don’t like being all floaty and see through and stuff like that. The thing is, I don’t think I will get a new body. I will be here for a while and I know that for a fact.

To Be Continued…